Thankful for her every breath

Seriously! Have you ever felt like this picture? I found it online at one of my favorite sites. www. ...heck I don't know... I have it bookmarked for goodness sake! Anyway, this has been me for the last week. If you haven't heard by now, Little Faithers has been one sick chick!

Day 1 we noticed that she had a low grade fever and didn't think too much about it. We went about our day and watched her pretty close. She was alright for the most part. We knew something was up but, we didn't know what.

Day 2 her fever was getting a bit higher and was not breaking like we would like it to. I made an appointment with the pediatrician for the next morning.

Day 3 we woke up and headed to the pediatrician. She was swabbed for strep and swine flu. Agh! NOT fun! They gave her a shot of antibiotics along with a prescription for Tamiflu just in case the test for swine flu came back positive and more antibiotics. Her fever soon reached 102.4. I put her in a bath to try to cool her down a bit and then we chilled out with some cartoons. I looked over at my baby and noticed her trembling. Knowing something didn't feel right, I jumped up and went over to her. Her face was blue and she was not breathing! Could this be it? Could my baby be slipping away from me because of this god awful illness that we have not been able to diagnose? Please God NO! You are a healer yesterday, today and forever... come NOW! I scooped up my baby and held her lifeless body in my arms as I called 911. By the time I hung up with the 911 operator Faith had begun to breath again. She was weak and lethargic. I went outside to meet the ambulance ready to receive any help they could offer all the while crying out to the Lord to please come and bring life & healing to my sweet little girl. The medics clocked her temp at 102.9, they put her in the ambulance and I followed them to the hospital. They were now guessing she had a febrile seizure. I called Hubby & the pediatrician on the way there. Please Lord, let her be OK. Please Lord, help my baby!

I wasn't at the hospital 5 minutes when I saw friends from our church. How did they know? Apparently, Hubby called them so that I wouldn't be at the hospital alone. She started throwing up and I was able to use some helping hands our friends could offer. Hubby showed up, 3 more friends, and my mom and gary. We were anything but alone. We got a little "room" in the ER where we waited and waited for what seemed like forever. They tested her blood, urine, and did an X-Ray. Everything came back clean. Her fever came down and she was now at a happy 98. 6 hours of this ordeal and it was time to head home again. I was TERRIFIED to bring her home. I saw my baby blue at home... what if it happened again? What if it was when she & I were sleeping and I wouldn't know? What if the next time it happened she wouldn't wake up? Oh God, I need you and your provision!

I didn't sleep much that night. Visions of my blue baby haunted my every thought. Feelings of her limp body in my arms were not a feeling I could shake. I stayed up with her and checked her temp every 1-3 hours.

Day 4 yesterday must have been a nightmare; It couldn't have been real. Faith's fever was back and I was so scared to be alone with her. I tried not to let the "What if's" take over. We got through it with a lot of prayer. We went to the pediatricians office where I was able to talk with them about febrile seizures and what to look for in the future. You see, now that she has had one she is 33% more likely to have another. (I think she is 67% likely not to have another one but, hey who am I?)

Day 5 her fever spiked back up to 102 and was throwing up again. She hadn't thrown up since she was in the ER. Oh boy. Can this really be happening? Hasn't this baby been through enough in her lifetime? When is it enough, damn it? At this point she was still piggy backing Tylenol and Motrin plus she was still on the tamiflu and antibiotics. Now... she has a rash! AGH! We went back to the pediatrician and now he is thinking maybe she has Roseola. RRrrrr... whatever it is.... GET OUT of her!!!

Day 6 she still has this stupid fever and I'm over it! Fever get out in the name of Jesus Christ! I can honestly say I hadn't slept more than 3 hours straight since.... day 0. I'm tired and my little girl is such a trooper! She is still covered in a rash and irritated that I keep giving her meds. Please Lord, I need strength and she needs healing. (and while your at it... get these horrible images out of my head!)

Day 7 Hubby wakes up and tells me about a vision he had during the night. Faith was playing while 3 cobras surrounded her. As she moved to play with toys they would follow her. He prayed God's protection of his baby girl and fell back to sleep. Today she was fever free. She had no rash and no fever all day. God was gracious and showed her daddy how to cover her spiritually and he did. God blessed us in multiple ways this day.

Today is now Tuesday, it was only one week ago when at this very moment I was on my way home from the ER with my baby girl. The images are starting to fade and the fear of the "what if's" is starting to go away slowly. I still watch her a little more closely. I take her temp a little more often just in case but, I am thinking that in time I will be able to find a new "normal". I am truly thankful for her every breath! It was just last week that I believe God breathed new life in my sweet girl; her new life of healing!